Star Wars: Episode IX – The Rise of Skywalker

Grade: C

So frequently, in Star Wars movies, characters can’t just answer a dang question. It kills me. In one of the first scenes in Star Wars: Episode IX – The Rise of Skywalker, Kylo Ren asks the Emperor something to the effect of “Where is she?” Or “How can I find her?” Rather than simply give him the information he obviously has, he smiles and the scene ends. I usually believe it’s better to show than to tell, but here we have more showing when telling would have made more sense. And did I miss it, or did an interrupted “I never told you this, but…” line never get a follow-up or a resolution? I can’t imagine I’d have missed it; amazingly, despite finishing all of my so-called small Coke Zero, I never left the theater to use the facilities.

I haven’t been this apathetic about a movie since the first Guardians of the Galaxy in 2014. I didn’t like it. I didn’t dislike it. I nothing it. Roger Ebert once said, and I agree, that whenever I prepare to see a movie, I imagine an empty room in my brain that’s about to be filled. Here, I feel like I just sat through an ad you have to watch before the room gets filled, and nothing more. The room is still empty. It is possible to make a worthwhile film from a franchise which is not my thing. I liked Captain Marvel, Avengers: Endgame, and even Spider-man: Far From Home. Star Wars: Episode IX didn’t work me up into a frenzy of dislike, like what I call the Fantastic Movies: I Don’t Know Where To Find Them But They’re Not Here series, but at least those inspired strong feelings out of me.

As we approach Oscar season, when you’re about to get hit with a lot of reviews from me, I pray this is an aberration, and that I still have the capacity to care about cinema. This may be a good time to bring up the fact that I still have not seen the previous episode, The Last Jedi. From what I hear, I have yet to see the best one of this last trilogy.

Grade: C