80 for Brady

Grade: B-

I was shocked to learn that 80 for Brady is based on a true story. Okay, evidently some of it did really happen, but everything about the movie screams “fiction” and “fantasy.” The people in it are more caricature and archetype than character. They talk like they are in a sitcom or a play, and the logic is akin to something you’d find in a children’s cartoon. The developments of the story and the situations they find themselves in are ridiculous, preposterous, and unbelievable. The last scene has a lame fake-out, where we just KNOW that it’s not what they’re making it look like. It’s stupid. And you wanna know another thing about it? It’s stupid fun. 80 for Brady is crap, but it’s the best crap in theaters at the moment.

Instead of a movie, this would have made a splendid Super Bowl commercial. “Let’s get Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Rita Moreno, and Sally Field together to play lifelong friends who watch football and ogle Tom Brady.” That’s what happens in 80 for Brady. Four senior citizens (Field’s character is always quick to interject that she’s not in her 80s yet) win tickets to the Super Bowl. From there, we are off to the races. These ladies have a rapid-fire series of Hangover-type adventures, where they meet famous players, drink, get unexpectedly high on gummies, play poker, get into a super-exclusive party, meet the halftime show choreographer, find themselves in a luxury box, find themselves calling the plays, find themselves in the locker room…and before you know it, the hour and 38 minute running time has flown by like a Hail Mary.

It’s all a lot of silly, shallow, implausible fluff, but these four old pros have impeccable chemistry and sell everything with no fear or shame. Fonda is the cougar. Tomlin has a treacly sob story regarding her health. Moreno is blissfully absent-minded, but gambles with the best of them. My favorite was Field, who I think has grown more attractive than she ever was before. She was recently notable in Spoiler Alert; it’s been nice to see her again. Bob Balaban, as her husband, isn’t given much to do, but he provided me with the biggest laugh, as he burst into the bedroom nicely dressed except for no pants, saying “I’m running late – have you seen my watch?” Tom Brady shows up as himself. After seeing him act, I’m thinking he shouldn’t quit his day job. Oh, wait.

There’s a certain charm here, as the movie seems to know how absurd it is, and unapologetically leans into it. When the inevitable happy ending arrives at the stadium, it’s treated with utmost dramatic gravitas and importance. You’d think it was fighter pilots or astronauts returning safely at the end of Top Gun and Apollo 13. But it’s just a game. I suppose we all have our trivial obsessions. You could do much worse at the local cinema right now. As we approach Super Bowl weekend, get into the spirit and drink the Kool-Aid. 80 for Brady is kind of a hoot.

Grade: B-