Renfield

Grade: C-

There is bloodshed throughout Renfield that will rival that of Violent Night. The sound effects department did not skimp, nor did the crew in charge of blood, of which there is at least as much as in The Outwaters. I did enjoy a shot that graphically shows us, in animated doctor’s X-ray style, exactly what happens to the bones of a character when he is kicked. The technical aspects are great, particularly the cinematography, makeup, set pieces, and even some of the fight choreography. The real cinematic carnage, though, lies with the screenplay.

Edward Cullen could learn a thing or two from the OG, Count Dracula. The latter can control his impulses around humans with blood, and even work with them, while the former is notorious for having problems in that area – particularly when it comes to bored, sullen teenagers. Renfield, the character, began working for Dracula several centuries ago. Though never made into a vampire, his master has granted him eternal life so long as he continues bringing him bodies for the Count to feast on. The eating of bugs gives Renfield Dracula-like superpowers for a few minutes, which helps a lot with the procurement of said bodies.

That’s a recap of the Dracula/Renfield relationship, in case you were previously unfamiliar with the Bram Stoker literature. The characters in this movie are largely unaware. Renfield, the film, takes place in present day New Orleans. With what must be at least 50 teeth in his mouth, Nicolas Cage, as Dracula, gives the exact performance you’d expect from him – channeling himself, with a dose of Jack Nicholson and Al Pacino. He’s a cartoonish archetype. Nicholas Hoult as Renfield fares better. He was so memorable recently as an unlikable character in The Menu, that I was impressed at how appealing I found him here.

Director Chris McKay (Robot Chicken, The Tomorrow War, The Lego Batman Movie) and writer Ryan Ridley (Rick and Morty) have crafted some of the clunkiest expository dialogue I’ve heard this year. “Your father, who was also a cop with us, died an honorable man” is a sample of what’s spoon-fed to us. There’s a subplot involving a crime family, who like to frequently announce to each other how proud they are to do crime and stuff, and one even says to a character they just met “I’m a criminal. I want to do evil.” I’m not sure exactly what they do, or what their goals are. They might as well call themselves the MacGuffin family. It’s only fair that I quote a line I did like. “Do you remember what we talked about? I was up all day thinking about it.” Clever.

Movies like this compel me to once again bring up that Nicolas Cage is the star of two of my favorite movies: Bringing Out the Dead and The Weather Man. Or, for an option more recent, Pig is my favorite thing he’s done in years. You really should go watch those, instead of Renfield. After so much nonsense that already came before, the too easy, unbelievable epilogue sucked the last bit of credulity and benefit of the doubt I had. You can’t have your blood and drink it too.

Grade: C-