You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah

Grade: C+

It’s official. The dopey Adam Sandler comedy has now passed on to the next generation. You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah is a family affair – biological and artistic. Adam Sandler’s real-life daughters (Sadie and Sunny) play his daughters in the movie. His wife Jackie Sandler plays the mother of Sadie’s character’s best friend. Idina Menzel, Adam’s onscreen wife in Uncut Gems, is his wife here too. And a couple Sandler comedy regulars, going back to the 90s, appear here in roles ranging from small supporting characters to cameos. You’ll see Luis Guzmán and Michael Buscemi. Too bad they couldn’t get Steve.

It was sweet to see the Sandman and his women all in one movie, and they work well together. He is obviously proud and passionate about his Judaism. It’s at once a celebration and a bit of good-natured ribbing of the religion. It’s because of those reasons that I’m rating You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah as highly as I am. This movie is glittery and sugary like candy, but if you want a funny campy teen girl romp, I’d instead recommend the brilliant Bottoms. YASNITMBM has the Sandler stamp all over it, for better and especially worse.

Sadie Sandler is the star, and she’s delightful. I hope she can land at least a few projects that are more daring and substantive, that tap into the potential I know is there – like her old man did with Punch-Drunk Love, Uncut Gems, and Hustle. She plays Stacy, who is preparing for an epic Bat Mitzvah along with her lifelong best friend Lydia. Stacy has a crush on Andy, for reasons the viewer will have trouble understanding. I didn’t think much of him. Stacy does something dangerous to hopefully win him over. When it backfires in an embarrassing way, he sets his sights on Lydia. This leads to the movie’s dramatic peak, when she tells Lydia she’s so not invited…you know.

That’s as high as the stakes get. It’s a shame, because the actors, particularly Sadie Sandler, are so good. Adam Sandler could play a role like this in his sleep, and often does, but I liked his supporting part here, and would have welcomed more of him. Otherwise, I could almost hear the creaking of the machinery at the screenplay factory as we got almost nothing new. Public speakers are allowed to say things on microphones that would be quickly stopped in reality. There’s apparently only one Bat/Bar Mitzvah party DJ in town, because he shows up everywhere. And a Dramatic Late Arrival materializes at the perfect time. I could go on, but I don’t care.

I once had a theatre director tell his cast that he’s a big softie, even if he might dislike a show. At The Lion King’s national tour stop in Atlanta, he shed a few tears, but ALSO wanted to fire the actor playing Young Simba. Those two sentiments aren’t mutually exclusive. I’m the same way. I admit I got something in my eye during one part of YASNITMBM, but simultaneously wasn’t crazy about the film as a whole. It’s not quite the insult to your intelligence that Your Place or Mine is, but it’s close – and par for the course for your typical Netflix Original comedy movie. 25 years ago, I preferred to steer clear of Adam Sandler. Now in 2023, I’m wishing there was more of him.

Grade: C+