The Beekeeper

Grade: B

Jason Statham’s artistic path has barely – almost never – crossed with my viewing path. I’ve only seen the first Fast and Furious, in 2001, before he joined the franchise – and I’ve steered clear of every frame of any Expendables. I gave The Beekeeper a chance because the supporting cast features some actors I like, and the premise quickly won me over. An older lady, not the most computer-savvy in the world (Phylicia Rashad from The Cosby Show) gets one of those “your computer has a virus – call this number” popup messages on her laptop. She takes it seriously, calls the number, and things don’t end well on a few levels. Statham’s character lives in a barn on Rashad’s property. He considers her a best friend and is fiercely protective of her, so he goes on a quest – it involves tools like a lighter and gas cans – to find and take care of those responsible for scamming her online. I can get on board with this.

After torching the building where the initial phishing scam took place, naturally, word gets around about him. His current name, he always says cryptically, is Adam Clay. No record of fingerprints. Known as a beekeeper (I assumed because we see he has a way with tending to bees), lots of dialogue goes like “This guy’s a beekeeper.” “You mean like…a beekeeper beekeeper? Uh oh, that’s bad news. He’s gonna kill us.” We finally get an elaboration on that. Beekeepers are a secret organization of people who do what the law won’t, all in the name of protecting the hive. Clay was a former beekeeper turned literal beekeeper, but comes out of retirement to hunt down the tech bros who scammed his friend.

Statham is fine for what the role calls for, but it’s the supporting actors who shine the most. Minnie Driver is a bit wasted and underused, but it’s nice to see her again. Jeremy Irons does the Jeremy Irons thing – being gruff and growly and wearing nice suits. Josh Hutcherson, the nice guy hero from last year’s Five Nights at Freddy’s, does the young Sean Penn thing, as the slimy, rich, fickle, manipulative, coked up leader of the tech scamming outfit. I liked the character who we spend most of the film thinking is evil, only to find out that not only are they good, but absolutely mortified at the bad done on their watch.

The Statham character is practically invincible. He’s always vanquishing everybody without breaking a sweat. When he does get injured, it’s not so bad that he can’t do what he does at the very end. For all its ridiculousness, The Beekeeper is absorbing from the start, and contains a healthy amount of evenly-distributed enjoyment throughout. It’s a wickedly fun through-line when you remember that all the movie’s events got set into motion because an old lady got scammed online.

Grade: B (no pun intended)