Monkey Man

Grade: D-

25% of Monkey Man was ok, and might have made a fine half hour or less short film. As it stands, it’s the worst movie of the year (I hope). It’s sometimes about an anonymous wrestler, then it’s about John Wick stuff (the revenge plot was what I liked the best), and it takes a detour to visit the land of miraculously quick healing with a bunch of spiritual woowoo mumbo jumbo. The camera work is in nearly perpetual shaky, blurry, claustrophobic closeup. If you watch it on a phone or iPad, you might have the urge to do the “zoom out” thing with your fingers. A fine leading man and performer is stripped of any opportunity to do what he does best. I wasn’t the biggest Monkey Man fan.

Dev Patel plays Kid. He makes a little money by wearing a gorilla mask and participating in horrific anarchic fights in a ring. Picture an even more dangerous version of boxing and wrestling. As a child, he watched his mother be murdered. By amazing coincidence, the men responsible are still around. None of the major players have moved, died, or retired. Kid finds a way to infiltrate the town’s underground crime elite, and makes it his mission to get vengeance. Stories like these tend to make me think “ok, once you do that, then what?” You’re left with one hell of a bloody mess. Once the job is done, where do you go from there? Does it ever really satisfy you?

I’ll tell you about one bit I liked. Somebody steals a woman’s wallet on the street, then it changes hands many times in a rapid-fire, meticulously choreographed sequence – so that even if someone catches up to the original pickpocket, he no longer has it. The revenge story was mildly compelling, and would have played better if, as I said, the focus was on that, and it was distilled down to a short. I don’t mind gore and violence; I can SEE just about anything. But Monkey Man is so nihilistic and devoid of hope or happiness. I prefer at least some kind of light at the end of the tunnel.

Patel is such a gifted actor and presence. He was the kid in Slumdog Millionaire, then it was a pleasure to see him all grown up in his Oscar nominated performance in Lion. Here, he is bland – pretty much reduced to fighting, brooding, getting injured, and still accomplishing a surprising amount of action despite being down for the count. Maybe he’s wearing too many hats (being the star, director, and having a “story” credit), but most likely the John Wick thing isn’t conducive to any kind of substantive performance.

Sitting through Monkey Man was one of the biggest chores of the year. I know I saw it, but I left feeling so empty and undernourished. I don’t give the F grade lightly, but I considered flunking it, until the tiny part that I enjoyed did emerge with a little bit of meaning. I’m glad it doesn’t happen too often, but Monkey Man is one of those films that makes me question why I go so often.

Grade: D-