Janet Planet

Grade: C

Janet Planet began its closing credits, the lights came up, and I whispered to myself “What the [heck] was that?” I liked the general idea, and I really wanted to be on board with the film, but by the end, I almost wondered if the filmmakers were trolling us, or testing us to see how much we can sit through (two people in my audience did walk out). It’s so solemn, somber, quiet, downbeat, and grave. I suppose we’re officially beginning to see diminishing returns after the likes of the brilliant Perfect Days and The Florida Project. I even gave the recent Gasoline Rainbow a benefit-of-the-doubt pass. Yes, readers – Janet Planet is one of those movies. Meander, film whatever, and don’t worry about a score. Here’s the plot summary I would have submitted to IMDb: an 11-year-old girl and her single mother do indie movie stuff for 113 minutes, without even 10% of the heart and personality of The Florida Project.

Writer/director Annie Baker is overzealous in the way she stages several drawn-out shots. We see things like every step of a girl running to a shed with a payphone, including going inside it. Once that’s happened, and only then, do we cut to the interior. We see a car on a country road laboriously drive all the way from one end of the screen to the other. And let’s not forget every last second of a snack being microwaved. The movie begins with the aforementioned phone call. It’s 11-year-old Lacy calling her mom from summer camp, oddly calm in informing her that she will end her life if she isn’t picked up ASAP. From here, we go from summer to fall in rural Massachusetts in 1991, with Lacy and her mother Janet whispering through life, with little mirth.

As Janet, Julianne Nicholson’s credits include Dream Scenario, Blonde, and I, Tonya. I would have put down money (and lost) that she was the lead in last year’s Enys Men. It’s interesting that I confused her with Mary Woodvine, because Janet Planet and Enys Men are both strange, random, repetitive films. And, incidentally, I recognized two names from Janet Planet’s cast, but only after the fact when I looked it up. I didn’t know it was Will Patton or Elias Koteas while watching. This is one of those movies that is given chapter titles, seemingly on a whim. We have ones called “Wayne,” “End Wayne,” “Regina,” and “End Regina.” There is no small amount of philosophizing and psychobabbling. This would probably have worked better as a play.

Janet Planet contains interesting bits, and I was lulled in by some of it, but it ultimately doesn’t work. I couldn’t find an emotional or narrative thread to grab onto and ride the wave. It begins to resemble self-parody by the end, and concludes with a sputter. I am giving it a C because it’s not terrible. It didn’t work me up into a frenzy of dislike. Nicholson and Zoe Ziegler as Janet and Lacy have chemistry and commitment. I often forgot I was watching actors. I didn’t hate Janet Planet, it just got more and more ridiculous and unintentionally funny until I wanted off.

Grade: C