Jurassic World: Rebirth

Grade: B-

Jurassic World: Rebirth’s main plot point and set of characters are as robotic as they come. They mechanically spout out exposition in their opening scenes, make sure to take a few minutes for a forced sob-story backstory, and generally go about their business with little to no personality. Meanwhile, a family of secondary characters comes along with their subplot. They are so interesting and appealing that they completely upstage the primary group we’re supposed to follow. They steal the movie, and made me wish it had been framed to have THEM as the primary focus, with these so-called stars relegated to the tangential afterthoughts they should be.

Scarlett Johansson, Mahershala Ali, Jonathan Bailey (Fiyero from Wicked), and Rupert Friend (The Phoenician Scheme, Companion) are talented performers. We know ‘em. We love ‘em. It’s probably not their fault, but their branch is the weakest of the plot tree. Friend plays a slimy, big pharma tycoon who commissions Johansson and Bailey to join him on the site of that original drive-through dinosaur tour that first launched 32 years ago. Understandably, they are hesitant, but go anyway, because they like the number of zeros promised to them. The dinosaurs’ DNA has life-saving possibilities, medically, for humans back home, so this team’s assignment is to extract a sample from three different breeds, including the sea-dwelling Mosasaurus.

Meanwhile, we meet a father, two daughters, and the boyfriend of the older daughter traveling the Atlantic in a modest sailboat. Due to an unexpected dino encounter in the water, their boat capsizes, and they are rescued by the Johansson/Ali/Bailey/Friend team. There’s a sincerity in these supporting performances, and a compelling dynamic. How cool would it have been if the movie had centered around THEM, while the J/A/B/F team showed up later as the second bananas?

They all end up on the iconic island, where they need to hold onto their butts, because the objects in the car’s mirrors are closer than they appear. Original Jurassic Park writer David Koepp is back for this installment. A few of the sequences have some of the same wit as the Spielberg original, thanks to him. One in particular, involving a raft, gets a humorous payoff. Other bits are hit-or-miss. The dinosaurs are slow and have exceptionally bad aim when it comes to hunting and pecking. A couple characters are obviously the “sacrifices.” They are the most forgettable, so when they don’t make it to the end of the movie, we don’t care. The villain is the last to die, and in the most spectacular way.

The ending is surprisingly abrupt, but I hardly minded much, as we were already past the two hour mark. I could have used an explanation for how somebody survived something, but as the whole film had been playing fast and loose with what people should be able to endure, it’s par for the course. There is enough in the tank for me to ultimately recommend Jurassic World: Rebirth a little bit. The main characters don’t offer us much in the originality department, but we don’t go see a movie like this because of the acting. Now, this Mosasaurus. Sounds like what you’d call a dinosaur that can part the sea.

Grade: B-