Superman

Grade: C+

I was lukewarm to dissatisfied with James Gunn’s Guardians of the Galaxy trilogy, but one thing I consistently admired was his use of classic rock music to punctuate, underscore, speak to, or otherwise complement the story onscreen. It was almost on a Cameron Crowe level. As director of Superman, Gunn doesn’t continue with that motif. I wonder if it would have saved the movie. I didn’t hate it, but it left me so empty and apathetic that – for the first time ever – I considered having ChatGPT assist me with the writing of this review. I didn’t follow through with this plan. Everything you see here came from my brain.

No important character dies. The worst thing that seems to happen is someone gets publicly smeared. The main plot point comes from when Lex Luthor breaks into Superman’s iconic icicle lair. Luthor’s team is able to mentally download a video message from Superman’s birth parents (Bradley Cooper and Angela Sarafyan) to him. Long story short, the entire message, translated to English, isn’t exactly what Superman thought it was all these years he’s been watching it. Luthor broadcasts it on the news, where, of course, the citizens of Metropolis immediately believe it, and decide they no longer like Superman. There’s a subplot about war and turmoil overseas, and it’s obvious the screenwriters had fun coming up with names for these fictional places. However, the primary storyline is Superman’s quest to un-cancel himself. It’s not so much about him saving the day. It’s more about him saving his image.

As the title character, 32-year-old Philadelphia native David Corenswet (Twisters, Pearl) looks the part and is a fine placeholder. I eventually warmed up to what Nicholas Hoult brought to the table as Lex Luthor. Rachel Brosnshan, who recently played Rami Malek’s wife in The Amateur, is great as my favorite Lois Lane. The most I cared about anything was when she was on screen. As usual, the employees at the Daily Planet are hilariously dense, never putting two and two together when Clark Kent isn’t seen for a while during periods of heavy Superman activity.

It wasn’t likely that I was going to recommend a Superman movie anyway. I could have bluffed or BSed my way through a review, using big words about how it didn’t work for me, technically or artistically, as if it would have otherwise. I am choosing the honesty route. The bottom line is it’s not my thing, and there is nothing special in it that made it closer to my thing. I may get some comments about how I missed something or didn’t get it. Fair enough, and you can say that again. If you enjoyed it, I’m happy for you. Speaking for myself, to paraphrase the old tagline: it’s a turd. It’s a pain.

Grade: C+