Splitsville

Grade: C+

The writers of Splitsville (Michael Angelo Covino and Kyle Marvin) would make wonderful playwrights. There’s a rhythm and momentum to their dialogue that would be right at home on the stage. It even felt like pauses for audience laughter were built in. Covino also wears the Director hat, and he and Marvin are the two male stars as well.

Splitsville opens with Carey (Marvin) and Ashley (Adria Arjona) road-tripping to see some old friends at their nice lake house. They are Julie (Dakota Johnson) and Paul (Covino). In a moment of impulsive honesty, Ashley confesses to Carey that she has been unfaithful and wants a divorce. This causes Carey to exit the car and travel the rest of the way on foot, through woods and lakes. By the time he arrives, Ashley has gotten there and been turned away, having made them privy to the situation.

Paul and Julie reveal to Carey that they have an open marriage, which leads to some “open” activity between Julie and Carey while Paul is away. Paul breaks the No Getting Mad/Jealous rule when he finds out, and he and Carey have an elaborate and tedious fight that absolutely wrecks the house, and feels like it goes on for about 10 minutes. The scene isn’t funny, but what’s somewhat humorous is remembering in the back of your mind that the two guys doing this are the guys who wrote the movie, and thought it would be entertaining.

Carey is the more likable man between the two, so it’s also funny that the director, Michael Angelo Covino, who plays Paul, gets more jokes at his expense, and is shown in an unflattering light. Where they succeed (and where they made me think they should go into the live theatre world) is in at least one extended scene in one continuous shot featuring multiple characters. That had to have taken meticulous blocking and choreography. The two writers/leading men are convincing as their characters, warts and all, and I admire that they could pull this kind of acting off when most of their experience has been behind the camera. Dakota Johnson is lovely as always, and Adria Arjona as Ashley has fun. She has some nice upcoming projects, including starring opposite Michael B. Jordan and Kenneth Branagh in a Jordan-directed remake of The Thomas Crown Affair. Otherwise, Splitsville is inconsistent and slapdash, with too many moments that don’t ring true – like a loud argument between adults in a school hallway. It’s allowed to go on for a long time, F bombs and all.

I love hearing about when writers create characters and situations, but don’t have an ending in mind. They set everything up, take their hands off the steering wheel, and let these people find a conclusion on their own. Zach Creggar has stated that he wrote Barbarian and Weapons this way. Even the Farrelly brothers weren’t sure whether Cameron Diaz would end up with Ben Stiller in There’s Something About Mary. Splitsville’s ending feels planned and preconceived – a diversion from where it felt like things should go. The movie has a fair amount going for it, and I myself frequently wondered if I would fall in the pass or fail zone – but ultimately, Splitsville is too messy, meandering, and “first drafty.”

Grade: C+