The Baltimorons

Grade: B

I don’t think I’ve ever been to Baltimore, but it is filmed so specifically and lovingly in The Baltimorons that I feel like I’ve lived there. It evokes a familiarity right off the bat. Michael Strassner, the co-writer and star, is from there. From a filming/camera work standpoint, I’d compare The Baltimorons to The Holdovers. The former has iPhones and a tracking app similar to Life360, which is the source of a misunderstanding late in the movie, but both look like they could have been shot in the 1970s.

Director Jay Duplass successfully makes you feel the Christmas Eve Baltimore coldness. Strassner plays Cliff – a 30-something. He’s ultimately a sweet man, but has a big, unfiltered personality that made me think of a more annoying version of Kieran Culkin from A Real Pain and John Candy from Planes, Trains & Automobiles. The movie’s title is the name of the improv troupe that Cliff used to be a part of, before he got removed from it about half a year ago. When we meet him, he is six months sober. His girlfriend Brittany has been telling him “No alcohol. No comedy shows.” An odd ultimatum, but we find out why later.

Cliff and Brittany are on their way to a holiday get-together with her extended family. While walking in, Cliff bangs his mouth on a doorway, necessitating some emergency dental work. He drives into town, and has the procedure done by Didi – a 60-something recently divorced grandmother. She made a special trip to the office on Christmas Eve to take care of him. After it’s done, Cliff finds that his car has been towed. Didi drives him to the tow yard, where my favorite sequence of a very eventful evening between Didi and Cliff takes place. It’s easy to forget that all this happens in one night. It’s almost Odyssean. 

Other episodes in their evening include a stop at her just-remarried ex-husband’s house, a little boating excursion, and yes, a trip to a comedy club. Cliff and Didi don’t have an affair or even a romance (until they kinda do), but their relationship goes as close to that line as possible without crossing it, until it kinda does. You can compare it to what was happening between Jason Schwartzman and Carol Kane in Between the Temples. Liz Larsen deserves to be put on the map for her nice, multi-faceted work as Didi. She looks so much like a 20-years-older version of one of my wife’s friends, and I mean that as a compliment. Olivia Luccardi is a wonderful actress with particular and memorable facial features, and I like what she brought to her role as Brittany. Strassner is a bearded, ebullient teddy bear as Cliff. Duplass populates the soundtrack with some Gershwin, in addition to well-known Christmas staples from the Vince Guaraldi Trio and the like.

The ending will have you unsure what will ultimately happen to these characters – and I’m still not certain what I hoped would happen. The Baltimorons is a quirky look at an unconventional type of meeting and relationship. Cliff is irritating, often making me uncomfortable with second-hand embarrassment, but I did grow to love him a little bit.

Grade: B