Bone Lake

Grade: B

The marketing for Bone Lake tries to tell you, right off the bat, what kind of experience you’re in for. There’s a poster that has the R rating logo strategically and unsubtly placed to the right of the word “bone,” so it appears to say Boner Lake. I’d call Bone Lake the cinematic equivalent of those pulpy, steamy romance novels you’ve never heard of, that you only tend to see on the newsstand at a gas station or grocery store.

Director Mercedes Bryce Morgan’s credits include several Marshmello music videos, and some shorts. I have never seen any of her previous works, nor have I seen – or heard of – any of the four main actors. Maddie Hasson gave me Naomi Watts vibes. She plays Sage, who is on her way to a romantic getaway to a lake house Airbnb with her boyfriend Diego (Marco Pigossi). It’s a “double-booked vacation spot” premise, used before in such different movies as You’re Cordially Invited, Barbarian, Alone Together, and several others, I’m sure.

They arrive and find another couple, who informs them that they, too, reserved this place at Bone Lake at the same time slot. They are Cin (Andra Nechita) and Will (Alex Roe). They all figure what the hell, they seem cool, they’ll share the space, it’s big enough. The movie, in part, is a relationship drama – and is among its strongest when it has its feet in this particular pool. Diego is an aspiring novelist, really trying to get that pipe dream off the ground, so Sage has taken an extra job to support them and let him work on that. A sweet idea, but that must cause some resentments. There are themes of communication in relationships, and – as things escalate within the plot – how strong your love really is.

Will and Cin are a traditionally attractive, free-spirited couple. The situation in Bone Lake is an Odd Couple of couples. In at least one respect, you can compare this to Speak No Evil. I won’t say how, or who does what, but a thriller element emerges. It begins with micro-aggressions that aren’t criminal or physically harming, but are upsetting nonetheless. Back when they thought they would be alone on this trip, Diego had been planning to pop the question to Sage while they were there. He brought along his grandmother’s ring, obviously a precious family heirloom. What happens with that is an example of what I’m talking about.

Not to sound like a pervert or a creep, but we seemed to be promised something that definitely doesn’t deliver. We get little to none of the sexiness factor hinted at in the “Bone[R] Lake” teaser poster. What we’re left with, though, is a fairly thrilling, entertaining romp carried by four lesser known but talented actors. I had to chuckle when one of the guys declares someone to be “girl-next-door hot.” If you know me, you’ve probably heard me say “The traditional magazine cover showstopper model isn’t my favorite. I like cute. Girl-next-door cute. That’s my type.”

The climactic fight has that famous kind of moment where a villain has the hero cornered. They are about to take that last fatal shot/stab/etc, when they are hit with something from behind or at a distance, that takes them down. It’s the hero’s buddy, suddenly showing up, not a moment too soon, to take care of business. You will see this payoff coming a mile away, but the film almost seems to be including it as a parody, as if to say “Let’s go ahead and do this usual beat.” After that, I like the way somebody follows through with something they were intending to do earlier. 

Bone Lake is an efficient, successful exercise in style, with a message or theme that isn’t beaten over your head – but is there if you choose to recognize/acknowledge it. Certain straight-to-video or Cinemax movies have only a couple of scenes that a teenage boy would be interested in seeing. Bone Lake is like everything in between those parts, that they’d either fast-forward past or sit through impatiently – I’ve heard.

Grade: B