Pizza Movie

Grade: B+

Pizza Movie will restore your faith that the teenager-centric comedy is alive and well. Two years ago, a sweet, smart, funny, sexy suburban dramedy called Snack Shack snuck up on me, burrowed into my heart, and made #1 on my top ten list for 2024. Also out that year was the Netflix movie Incoming, which I called American Pie for this generation – and I liked it better than American Pie. Pizza Movie filled me with such delight. Even the pre-opening credits stuff had me looking forward to seeing more of it.

It’s a meeting of two stars of a successful, popular streaming series. Sean Giambrone (Adam from The Goldbergs) and Gaten Matarazzo (Dustin from Stranger Things) play college roommates Montgomery and Jack. One night, they have found themselves without alcohol after some bullies broke the only liquor bottle they had. In the commotion, a tin of hallucinogenic mints falls from the hole left by an uneven ceiling tile. They belonged to a former student who had that same dorm room. She invented the drug there, and hid it in the ceiling, where it’s sat for ten years. As they no longer have booze, and they want an alternative experience however they can get it, Montgomery and Jack each take one.

Researching the drug, their one and only search result is a video made by the creator, explaining each phase of the high. They are called “Make the Baby Like It,” “No Bad Words,” “Flashbacks,” “The Ol’ Switcheroo,” “Nothing But the Truth,” and “We Are All One.” If you take more than one mint, you are promised a harrowing experience of the true nature of reality. The video lets the boys know that you can avoid those phases and just have a pleasant high, as long as you eat pizza. Great – they already have a pizza on the way. The only issue is making it down two flights of stairs to retrieve it from the lobby, and staying in reality.

From a personal compassion standpoint, I was rooting for them to get to their pizza as soon as possible, ending all of this early. Since the phases were laid out for us, of course we know the film will follow through and feature every one. It would have been a disappointment otherwise. It may sound overwhelming when they are listed, but you don’t have to remember what they are. We get a clear, specific reminder with each one.

Jack and Montgomery aren’t the only two going through this. Lizzy, a former friend of theirs, took a mint earlier during their weekly bully ambush, and is experiencing all the same phases/consequences with them. She’s played by Lulu Wilson – a great young actress who, with just one film seen by me, has already skyrocketed to one of my favorites, for whom I will keep watching out. 

The phases are funny and creatively executed. “Nothing But the Truth” has them in a Liar Liar scenario, where they can’t help but blurt out bluntly honest answers to everything they’re asked – and sometimes, they word-vomit TMI secrets. “No Bad Words” has them unable to cuss, otherwise the speaker of the offending word’s head will explode, and everyone will have to start the scene again. “We Are All One” has a twist involved, that I’d love to spoil but won’t. On their trail, eager to bust anybody for anything, is the team of RAs. They take their position extremely seriously – with the fervor and impassioned speeches of an FBI team in a crime drama. The one-and-done jokes are entertaining, as are the repeated jokes – receiving the perfect amount of callbacks without being annoying.

A late scene has Jack, Montgomery, and Lizzy force-feeding several mints at once to the head RA – finally showing somebody (and us) the “true horrible nature of reality,” as teased earlier. It’s brilliant, with a calm simplicity on par with the Subway-related drug trip in Friendship. By the end, every last storyline has a resolution. I wasn’t left with any questions. Pizza Movie is an exciting breath of fresh air that will be a memorable, long-lingering guilty pleasure.

Grade: B+