Harold and the Purple Crayon

Grade: C-

I never read Harold and the Purple Crayon. I can only trust, and hope, that it’s a wonderful work with a reason it has stood the test of time. This recent mostly live action film is an ordeal. Director Carlos Saldanha did Rio, out in 2011, with 20th Century Fox Animation. It didn’t exactly inspire eloquence from me in my writing. It’s one of the very few reviews that I didn’t even carry over from my personal Facebook page to this website.

In H&tPC’s opening sequence, we meet Harold and his friends Moose and Porcupine. In his world, he has a purple crayon that allows him to create literally anything by drawing with it in thin air. They are perfectly content until suddenly their narrator (Alfred Molina) goes silent. They call him the old man, because he sounds like one. So, Harold draws a portal into the real human world in a quest to find his “old man.” So-called adventures ensue, including befriending a pre-teen kid named Mel and his recently widowed mother Terry, who is understandably suspicious of these 40-something men who have just dropped into her young son’s life. There’s also a failed aspiring novelist named Gary who works in a library. He calls himself Library Gary an interminable number of times. His book is a Harry Potter/Lord of The Rings/Dungeons & Dragons type fantasy, which brings about a climax with production values that would have looked dated in Xena: Warrior Princess.

The obvious thought that entered my mind here is Harold could just draw money. Or a mansion. Or a private jet. It’s the kind of thought that comes up often when I see stories like this. In this case, it could be rationalized by remembering that Harold has lived in a fantasy world bubble of sorts for all of his existence, and likely doesn’t know about the aforementioned things. Though it can be overlooked and forgiven, it still doesn’t make the movie any more tolerable.

Lil Rel Howery and Tanya Reynolds are talented performers who do what they can with the roles of Moose and Porcupine, but it feels like they are kids in a youth acting class/camp where they are told to “act like an animal.” There’s a sense of “I’ve never done this before, but what the hell. Let’s be silly.” Even Zooey Deschanel – a striking presence, with some of the best eyes in the business – is flat, uninspired, and pretty much just “there” as Terry.

Another critic review accurately observed that Zachary Levi plays Harold like he was hit in the head with a board before every take – and as if the director had a Kubrickian notoriety of doing many takes. That’s about right. He is stunningly over-the-top and obnoxious. This could be rationalized by remembering that Harold is not of this world. He comes from a cartoonish fantasy place. It’s easier to get away with in animation, but unfortunately, it makes his transition into our world go over like a fart in a space suit. Though it can be understood, it still doesn’t make the movie any more tolerable. Would I recommend Harold and the Purple Crayon for little ones? Let me put it this way: if your family has already seen Inside Out 2, then they should go see it again.

Grade: C-