Mother Mary

Grade: D-

There’s a moment in Mother Mary where Anne Hathaway asks Michaela Coel if she meant what she said earlier. Coel replies with “About what?” I was hoping she’d ask that, as it entered my mind right before she said it. There is so much laborious pontificating and unpacking throughout Mother Mary, that Hathaway’s initial question could have been about any number of things. The metaphors in the dialogue are thick and frequent. Characters prattle on about doors, walls, and keys – but sometimes, they’re talking about actual doors, walls, and keys. They are constantly checking in with each other to see whether they meant it literally or figuratively.

I can best describe Mother Mary as Phantom Thread meets Black Swan, with a seance/exorcism in the final act. I can also describe it as something I wish I hadn’t seen. It’s easy to forget how much a score can change the whole dynamic of a scene, and that it often doesn’t exist yet when the actors are filming on set. I was painfully reminded of this during Mother Mary, as I marveled at how the two stars could whisper-act such silly, melodramatic dialogue in silence and keep a straight face.

The title character is the name Hathaway goes by, as a very famous Lady Gaga type pop star. Her shows have an impressive, elaborate setup across the board. She has flown to London to see Sam (Coel), her estranged friend and former costume designer. Mother Mary fired Sam, by essentially ghosting her. I’m talking about the symbolic “ghost” here, not a real one – though we do get a supernatural, surreal dreamscape element. MM wants Sam to make her a dress for the concerts. It’s a quick turnaround time.

The semi-promising first act made me optimistic that the movie might find a way to pull off something interesting. It’s like a two-person play – the kind a college student would write and present in their school’s black box theater, and if I saw it, I might politely and diplomatically tell the playwright “Congratulations. That was a trip. Keep writing.” By the time the exorcism and hallucinations began, I was so many arm’s lengths away from being taken in by whatever writer/director David Lowery (2016’s Pete’s Dragon) was trying to do. I didn’t understand it, but more than that, I didn’t care. I hope Mother Mary is the stupidest movie of the year.

Hunter Schafer (Cuckoo, Kinds of Kindness) plays Sam’s assistant Hilda. It’s a two or three line throwaway part for the majority of the movie. I wondered why they would give a role that minor to someone that established, as opposed to one of the million up-and-comers who would love to be thrown a bone, and be in the room with Hathaway and Coel. That changes in the last few minutes, when all of a sudden and for absolutely no reason, Schafer gets to join in the ridiculous reindeer games with a pretentious monologue of narration.

I try to see at least 10 movies a month – 120 a year. I would love to go back in time and tell past me he can sit this one out, and be happy with 119 if it comes to that. Near the beginning, when Hathaway arrives to apologize, Coel tells her to say “I’m sorry” twice, but at an unexpected time. She wants to be surprised by the spontaneity. Mother Mary ends with Hathaway saying it three times in a row. Was that last one for us?

Grade: D-