Ice Cream Man

Grade: C+

Ice Cream Man is a quick 86-minute flight of fancy from director Eli Roth, who usually aims higher. Not that much higher, but Thanksgiving 2 is in pre-production, and I liked what he did with 2023’s Thanksgiving. Ice Cream Man was the second movie in a double feature I did, after starting with One Night Only. I’m glad I saw them in that order. I am not recommending either film, but Ice Cream Man at least understood exactly what it was, and didn’t pretend to be anything better than that. It establishes a lane and stays in it. I’ll give it that.

The plot summary is my least favorite part of writing a review. Sometimes I jettison it completely. I’m much more interested in telling you how the movie made me feel, and that’s what I prefer to read about from other critics. It’s both a positive and a negative that there’s not much going on in Ice Cream Man. The title character descends on the nondescript Anytown of Bayleen Bay, and the treats he offers conjure up demonic, destructive behavior from the children. That’s the beginning and end of it.

The Children of the Cone, so to speak, are at their scariest and most effective when they are silent and stone-faced. Unfortunately, this isn’t consistent. In other scenes, they yell, laugh (when they’ve just successfully mutilated a grownup), and one of them even talks normally to deliver an “It’s a trap — you gotta trust me” speech to the unaffected. I have a feeling Roth was heavily inspired by Weapons, based on how the kids behave.

Those affected by the ice cream kill their parents in their sleep. A few kids in town either didn’t eat it because they’re lactose intolerant, or ate it and purged themselves. (One of them says, “I’m a 12-year-old girl. I have experience with making myself throw up.”) The ice-cream-afflicted kids aren’t trying to kill their unaffected peers. They’re trying to “turn” them, which we see in a very long sequence at the school where they keep trying to corner the heroes to offer them a cone.

Roth cast himself as the father of the lactose-intolerant boy, with Karen Cliche (from Thanksgiving) playing the mother. I liked the family’s dinner-table dialogue, as jokes from the parents go over the kids’ heads, and vice versa. I also enjoyed the characters’ sheer confusion when they finally learn the backstory and are given instructions on how to defeat the Ice Cream Man. They have to ask for clarification several times, essentially going, “So, wait, let me get this straight. What do we do? First this, and then this?” only to be corrected: “No, no, no. First this, and then do this.” They are as bewildered as we are about the explanation of why this is happening and what, exactly, they’re supposed to do about it. I like how the children also had to pause and figure out how to use a fire extinguisher in the moment. It’s more complicated than you might think. You don’t get dialogue like that very often.

Mostly, everything else didn’t work for me. The movie is a neat idea for a half-hour short film stretched out to almost an hour longer than that. There’s not enough substance to sustain and justify that runtime.

Roth serves up a cruel, nihilistic twist at the end. Nothing is learned or solved, and the ominous, cheap-sounding jingle continues to echo, on to — presumably — the next neighborhood. I’m glad Roth got this out of his system. Now it’s time for him to get back to work, and talk turkey again.

Dippin’ Dots is a relatively guilt-free snack available at most theaters. I’m apparently immune to the effects that wreaked havoc on Bayleen Bay, but if you see other moviegoers partaking, it may put you on edge.

Grade: C+