By Any Means

Grade: D

We are told at the beginning of By Any Means that it is based on a true story. I can only hope the true story was more exciting and eventful in real life. My favorite line was Mark Wahlberg saying “Wake me up when something happens, will ya?” If the audience took him up on that, he would get a nice long rest. I don’t know how they were able to find that many lines of his that were suitable to show in a trailer. He tosses around F bombs as frequently as people use the word “the.” I don’t have sensitive ears, except when it comes to excessive repetition.

Yahya Abdul-Mateen II plays FBI agent Wayne Strider, who enlists the help of a mobster (Mark Wahlberg) to solve a case involving a KKK-related hate crime. After establishing the racial tensions of 1966, the movie turns into a mismatched buddy road trip, something like Green Book if Green Book had been considerably less interesting. The first act is slow-moving, and then remains just as dull and inane once Wahlberg shows up. He sports a prosthetic nose, always has a toothpick in his mouth, and talks like he stepped out of Guys and Dolls, Jersey Boys, or Newsies.

To give credit where it’s due, there is one sequence that made me think “Finally, a part that’s making me feel something.” You could call it the speed bump that jolts Wahlberg awake before you tell him “it’s ok, it’s over, you can go back to sleep.” Dog lovers should steer clear of this scene. Movie lovers should steer clear of this movie.

It ends with the inevitable captions that tell us what ended up happening to everyone. They seem to go on longer than usual, as if the movie could have shown us some of it, but decided to cut its losses and end it. They gave us a gift. I didn’t want to see any more. Whatever different direction the film goes in, it doesn’t succeed by any means.

Grade: D