Practical Magic 2

Grade: D+

Practical Magic 2 is exactly what I was afraid its predecessor was going to be. I had never seen Practical Magic (1998). When I caught up with it the day before seeing PM2, I was bracing myself for a dull slog through a boring plot mostly focusing on magic and letting the special effects team flex. Instead, I was won over by its message about acceptance, the ’90s soundtrack, and the chemistry between the two stars, who were at or near the peaks of their careers. It’s not perfect. The kids it’s obviously targeted toward might be disturbed by the darker elements that earned it a PG-13. It’s a Disney Channelesque fantasy film trapped inside a too-mature one, but it has enough going for it to earn a slight “recommend” from me.

The fears I had for the 1998 movie play out in Practical Magic 2. Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman return as sisters Sally and Gillian Owens, who were raised by their aunts Jet (Dianne Wiest) and Franny (Stockard Channing). They come from a long line of witches. Curiously, we don’t see or hear about any men in this lineage.

Any man who falls in love with an Owens woman is doomed to succumb to tragedy. This is why Aidan Quinn’s character from the first movie is not in the sequel. A fellow critic brought up a fascinating observation that didn’t occur to me. The curse specifically says “any MAN,” making for an obvious and fun workaround if the screenwriters were to explore it. They don’t. Sally’s daughters Antonia and Kylie are now in their 20s. After saying the three-word phrase that eventually comes up in any serious relationship, Kylie’s boyfriend gets badly injured and spends most of the runtime in a coma. Conveniently for the plot, Antonia is a nurse. She apparently doesn’t have much of a workload, as she’s able to spend scene after scene in the hospital room attending to Kylie’s boyfriend. It’s up to the rest of the gang to travel to London and find a way to eliminate this curse once and for all.

Even though this was released 28 years after the first Practical Magic, it doesn’t take place that far into the future. Evan Rachel Wood, who played Kylie in the 1998 film, is now 39 and therefore too old to play this version of the character. Though she is missed, and I was looking forward to the possibility of her returning to the role, the wonderful Joey King from Bullet Train is effective. Maisie Williams is great as Antonia, and I am eager to see what she can do when she is given more to do. Bullock and Kidman are more annoying than funny here, lacking even 50% of the onscreen charm they had in 1998.

The plot machinery takes over. Many of the supporting roles are played by good-looking guys, obviously meant to make us wonder if romantic sparks will come into play. I was missing the music of Alan Silvestri, who composed the score for Practical Magic (1998). The climax isn’t much when it comes to danger and stakes, and features the most shamelessly long-winded Talking Killer monologue I’ve seen in a while. This suspiciously attractive guy yaks up a big old storm, with plenty of time for the heroines to sneak up, undetected, and save the day. After that, there is still 25 minutes left in the movie. By the time everyone dances around singing about putting the lime in the coconut, I was thinking, “Witch, please!”

Grade: D+